A Fortune Cookie for Procrastination

I started to write something yesterday and the day before, but when I was done, it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it to. It wasn’t exactly writer’s block, more like procrastination.

I knew it had to be when I found myself Googling Blog Post Idea Generators. After I did a few, coming up with such gems as 8 Things About Memoirs Your Kids Don’t Want You to Know and Top 10 Must Haves for Writing, I started to think about other bad ways to write an essay. pexels-photo-806421.jpeg

That’s how I ended up on a site that will actually write an essay for you. I had heard that there were places to buy papers, but I didn’t think they would be so blatant about it. I thought I would have to go on the dark web I’d heard so much about to see something like this. After seeing the kind of work it does, I don’t think anyone has to worry about anyone getting away with it.

To hook you, you can put the topic of your essay in, the word requirement, how much research you want to be done, how many keywords you need, and if you need a bibliography or images. You can also choose to have the sentences shuffled so the essay will pass plagiarism checks.

Then you actually have to check a box to let the generator know you are not a robot (even though it seems to be) and it spits back the first few lines of your essay. To see the whole essay, you need to subscribe, whatever that entails.

The first search term I entered “Why Procrastination is Bad” returned an article with a byline from The Atlantic. I’m not sure if this is because I left the shuffle sentence off, but I’m pretty sure that anyone would recognize that as plagiarism and would not recommend turning that in for your term paper.

For my second try, I turned on the shuffle sentences and received something that was so unintelligible I thought I might be having a stroke. This sentence appeared in the middle of the second paragraph “Subscribe By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and European users agree to the data transfer policy” which didn’t seem to have anything to do with procrastination and obviously came from whatever website the content was stolen from.

Finally, I entered the words What Does it Take to Be a Good Writer? and the generator returned this:

If you enjoy writing but can’t always express yourself well, keep practicing. You can try to acquire some of those soft skills. Pay attention to the questions people ask you at conferences, in email, and during dinner conversations for clues to what people want to know. Sometimes we do this unconsciously, as we juggle words, then choose, delete, and choose again. Don’t get overly caught up in grammar. You must be creative…

Well, then. My own little fortune cookie. Sometimes ideas come from the strangest places.

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